This is a guest post by Vicki Thompson.

Teaching time management skills when life is relatively simple will make it naturally easier for your child when life gets a little more complicated. So how can you effectively teach your child the skill of managing his or her time?

By teaching your child how to tell time

Teach your child early on to tell time. If you want your child to learn how to manage time, then this is an obvious first step. Other than the advantage of being introduced early to numbers, your child will become more responsible and disciplined when he knows how to tell time and why it’s important. Use a clock with the hands rather than a digital clock. Choose a large one with attractive designs to make it more fun. For example, when your child asks for an ice cream cone or snack, tell him he can have one at four o’clock. Then show him the numbers where the hands should point at this time (You’ll also be teaching him patience). As he asks for more things, he’ll have the idea that activities are done at different times during the day.

By teaching your child how to set priorities

There are always more things to do than there is enough time to do them, even for a child. By teaching your child how to set priorities, he’ll know how to divide his time among his different activities; he’ll learn where to spend more time, and where to spend less. Teach time management to your child by using the reward principle. If he finishes his home work first, he will have the remaining time before bedtime entirely for television. But if he wants television first, he would have to watch only until a certain time, regardless if he’s watching a favorite show. You might find your child having a dilemma between doing two school projects. Ask him which one he finds more difficult and advise him to do that one first. This way, he won’t dread doing the second project because he’ll know it’ll be easier. Always make your child see the advantages of wise choices; hopefully he’ll carry this skill until the time he starts making decisions for himself.

By showing your child that managing time means fun

You should never leave this part out. If you allow sufficient time for playing, entertainment, and doing the things your child enjoys, you will ensure he knows you mean well and that you’re not simply making his childhood miserable. This is true for all the other things you want to teach your child; if you want your child to really accept the lessons you’re teaching him, it is always imperative that you let him see the fun part of it. Also, this is important for your child to learn how to balance responsibility and relaxation, which will ultimately make him the well-rounded individual that you want him to be.

As a parent, consulting a time management e-book might help in further honing your kid’s time management skills.

Photo by kyz

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What types of insurance does your 18 year old need as he or she heads off to the land of fraternity parties, political activist professors, all-night exam cram sessions, sweating over final exams?

As our society and government stretches childhood from 18 years old to the mid-twenties, parents have to make certain important financial bases are covered for their kids and nothing ranks higher than insurance.

1. Car Insurance

It’s isn’t a matter of IF, it’s a matter of WHEN. Car insurance is cheap when compared to a $3,992 bill to fix a beautiful ten year old Nissan Pathfinder that “accidentally bumped” into a solid brick mailbox.

Not only are teens involved in more fatal car accidents, but involved in more accidents altogether. According to Census Bureau statistics, drivers under the age of 22 accounted for 29.4% of all car accidents despite being only 13.4% of the driving population. Based on crashes of all severities, the crash rate per mile driven for teens is four times the risk for drivers 20 and older.

Make sure your college bound teen has adequate car insurance and the proper insurance cards in the glove box at all times.

Sources for car insurance:

• Allstate Auto Insurance
• Esurance.com
• Travelers

2. Health Insurance

While college students are now allowed to stay on their parent’s health insurance program, in a few years children adults up to age 26 will be allowed to stay on their parent’s health plan. For those students who’s parents have no health insurance, many colleges will automatically enroll students in the college’s health insurance program. Way back when I was in college, the university’s student health center was a good one.

Sources for health insurance:

• eHealthInsurance
• InsureMe
• NetQuote

3. Renters Insurance

No matter which of the three major housing options you and your student choose (campus dorm, off campus apartment, house or condo), your student needs to have renters insurance on his or her belongings to cover fire, water damage, or theft. You may be able to add their belongings to your own homeowners insurance policy should they elect the dormitory option but make certain you  list expensive items on a separate schedule and insure them appropriately. Those items could include jewelry, expensive cameras, computer equipment, or a fancy bicycle.

Should you house your teenage student in a house or condo, you’ll obviously need insurance for that structure, but also be certain to include insurance to cover injured persons and possibly “loss of use” should you have to file a claim.

Sources for renter’s insurance:

• NetQuote
• InsureMe

4. Life Insurance

Most personal finance blogs, “experts,” and counselors don’t recommend life insurance on a college bound student, but they haven’t experienced the loss of a 21 year old and the ensuing financial disaster from even the simplest of circumstances following a students untimely death. They mistakenly believe that if no one is dependent on the student’s income, no life insurance is needed. But you’re insuring far more than just income.

Funerals aren’t cheap (the average one costs over $7,000), and final expenses can easily mount up quickly. Chances are very good that a parent will have to take some time off from work and there may also be the need for counseling following such a tragic event. If the student was in debt, there will be people calling your home wanting to talk to the deceased about repayment, then demanding death certificates and wanting to know how to file a claim against the estate. Are you prepared for that?

I’ve seen 10 year level term policies on non-smoking 18 year old males as low as $7.18 per month for a $100,000 death benefit and while no one wishes to make money from a child’s death, those funds will certainly help settle any final expenses and clean things up a bit for the parents. For the price of a sandwich each month, that’s a lot of peace of mind.

What happens if you don’t use the insurance? You can transfer ownership over to the student without him or her having to prove insurability (in most cases) and let them maintain their own life insurance once they graduate. For me, it just makes good sense and that’s why I’ve had life insurance on ALL my three children since they were 2 months old. If after settling your students final affairs there is a large sum remaining, you can always donate it to their favorite cause or hold it to help fund another child’s education as a memorial to their older sibling.

Sources for life insurance:

• New York Life
• NetQuote
• InsureMe

Finally, involve your student in the decisions regarding insurance. At some point in their future, they will have to make these decisions on their own and possibly for their own children. Preparing them now is just responsible parenting.

Photo by mosesxan

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Just a short post today (shorter than normal anyway). I’ve been thinking about how the simple act of asking a few questions can build friendships, strengthen bonds, and keep you out of trouble. You’ll find out more by asking questions than by almost any other way. Here are some ideas for questions to ask different people in your life:

Your potential spouse (financial questions):

• Do you have any debt?
• Do you use credit cards?
• Do you live by a budget?
• What are your long term and short term financial goals?
• Are you regularly saving money right now?
• Do you have any investments?
• Who will handle paying the bills?
• Will we merge our finances?
• Do you give?

Your potential financial advisor:

• How are you paid?
• How much experience do you have?
• Who in your firm will also work on my portfolio?
• What training have you received?
• How will I get updates to my account?
• Have you ever been disciplined?
• Will you provide me a written agreement?
• Do you have any other clients similar to me?

Your real estate agent when you’re buying a home:

• How much did the seller pay?
• How long has the home been on the market?
• How many offers has the seller received?
• What have other homes been selling for in this market?
• Is the seller upside down?
• Has the home experienced any problems?
• How are the schools systems?
• Why is the seller selling?

Yourself before making a big purchase:

• Do I really need this?
• Have I done enough research?
• Are there coupon codes available on the Internet?
• Could I buy this used and save money?
• Will I have to use credit to make this purchase?
• Will this purchase fit within my budget?

On a first date:

• What books have you read recently that you enjoyed?
• Do you enjoy travel? Where have you been?
• What’s the funniest thing that ever happened to you?
• Do you have any pets?
• What is your most prized possession and why?
• What is your passion?
• If you could live anywhere, where would that be and why?
• If you won the lottery, how would you spend it?

Before you sign a contract:

• What is the contract’s termination policy?
• What is expected of me and when?
• What do I receive in return?
• What if I’m not satisfied with how things are going?
• What guarantees are there?
• How is payment made or received?
• How long have you been in business?

On an interview:

• Tell me about the exact nature of the job, who this position reports to, the responsibilities of the position, and the desired results.
• Tell me about the boss’ style of management.
• What is essential for success in this position?
• What in my background makes you think I’d be a good fit for this position?
• What makes a good employee in this position?
• What characteristics to you admire in your boss?
• Why is the position open?
• Why is this a great job?
• What growth is projected for the future regarding the company or the position?

Your kids:

• If you were stranded on a deserted island, who would you want to bring with you?
• What one thing would you want to bring with you?
• If you could only have one dessert for the rest of your life, what would it be?
• Who is your favorite superhero and why?
• If you could cook one thing for me, what would it be?
• Who is your best friend and why?
• Who do you admire most at school and why?

Your spouse (after you’re married):

• What can I do for you today?
• What can I do to make you feel more loved/respected?
• What goals should we attempt as a couple?
• What can I do to make you feel more secure?
• What can I help you work on personally to achieve more?

Photo by Wolfy

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I love spending time with my kids – especially away from cell phones, and electronic gizmos. When my wife and I have taken our children camping, I’ve always been amazed at how they miraculously find something to do. No boredom there!

On my way to work last week, I heard Bill O’Reilly lamenting the high cost of a father taking his son to a baseball game at Yankee Stadium. The $150 seats, $6 hot dogs, $5 soft drinks, and $20 to park were getting to him!

I started thinking, “Why spend so much when there are many other things to do for much less?” You don’t have to bust the budget to have some great times with your kids.

Sporting Events

So don’t go to a Yankee’s game, go to a minor league game instead! Tickets are usually less than $10 each and, though the concessions aren’t cheap, they aren’t as high as they are in a major league park either. Go to a local college baseball game, or a high school football game. Go to a gymnastics meet, or a volleyball game. There are tons of other choices than a big league game and your kids just want to be with you.

Biking

Granted, the bike may be expensive if you purchase new, but you don’t have to buy anything new or high tech. Check out Play It Again Sports or a local pawn shop and learn to negotiate! You’ve already paid for bike paths through your taxes.

Grilling

Fathers usually love to grill (sorry for the stereotype!) so teach your son or daughter your tricks, your marinades, and your secrets for getting that hamburger just right.

Yard-work or Gardening

If you can make it a game, even yard work can be an “outing” with the kids. Use it as a teaching opportunity to show them how plants grow, where we get our food, and the value of hard work. The rewards aren’t instantaneous and kids need to learn that lesson.

Car Maintenance

Plan a family car wash and don’t be afraid to get wet. Then, show them how to wax the car and how to check their tire pressure. Teach them how to diagnose different problems and read the guages and dials on the dashboard.

Volunteer Work

Set the example by taking your kids with you on volunteer opportunities. Working in a soup kitchen, collecting Toys For Tots, or volunteering at your local food bank costs you nothing but time and will have a lasting impact on your children.

Fishing

Your only costs are a fishing license and a few supplies. Some of my fondest memories as a child involve fishing and some of my favorite times with my son are when we were “wetting a line.”

Yard Games

Tossing a baseball or football, throwing a Frisbee, or a simple game of tag costs less than $15 unless you already have the toy. Even if you don’t, the price tag isn’t very big.

Taking Something Apart

If your son or daughter has an engineering slant, buy an old radio at Goodwill or the Salvation Army and take it apart to see how it works. It doesn’t have to be a radio, try it with a toaster, an old computer, or whatever you find interesting on a “scavenger hunt.”

Exercise

It doesn’t have to be anything strenuous or expensive, simply taking a walk or doing push ups or sit ups together can build that bond.

Camping

Camping can get expensive but you don’t have to make it that way. A small tent can cost $10 at a yard sale and camping in your own backyard is very cheap! If that isn’t exotic enough, try camping in a state park (usually less than $20/night). All you need is a cooler, some food, some blankets and pillows. I’m willing to bet you have those sitting around the house already.

Video Games

Yes, I know. I’m trying to get AWAY from electronic gizmos, but my son and I have a lot of fun playing video games together. He actually beats me on a lot of them, but I’ve always told him that I won’t “let” him win. When he wins, he knows he did it himself!

Father son/daughter outings don’t have to be expensive. They aren’t supposed to be. Spending money shouldn’t be the purpose anyway. The whole purpose of an outing is to build better relationships with your children and teach them your values. Have a passion for teaching and bonding with your children and what you do together really won’t matter.

photo credit: heymarchetti

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My 9 year old son just started “Robotics Camp” today. It’s a week long camp conducted by the College of Engineering here at the local university in an attempt to foster interest on the part of the youngsters about math, science, and engineering as they pertain to robotics. It’s an exclusive camp that’s in high demand and we feel fortunate to be able to send him. I found out why it may be in such high demand when I read a letter to parents. The camp is run by some very astute individuals who don’t want to cheapen the learning process with a lot of politically correct babysitting and hand holding. Here’s a quote from the letter:

Prior to the camp, we ask that parents discuss the importance of teamwork, patience, and following directions.

This camp encourages failure — yes you read that right! When we push the boundaries of learning and creativity, failure is a good thing because experimentation does not always lead to success, sometimes we fail. When something doesn’t work the first time, we use our brains to find a solution and that is where real thinking and learning occurs. Further, your child will not bring home a project, a robot, or even a prize! [emphasis mine] Each session may or may not lead to a working project. It is the process of intense discovery-based problem-solving and collaboration that offers an invaluable reward.

I can’t tell you how happy I was to read that.

When did we start thinking that everyone should get a prize or trophy just for participating? Trophies used to mean something, now they’re just proof you showed up and your parents paid the fee. They’re been cheapened by self-esteem inflation.

Telling all the members of a group they’re winners when they’re not doesn’t help anyone’s self-esteem. They know the truth and they know you’re just blowing hot air. That probably does more to damage self-esteem than help it in the long run. I think that you help a person develop good self-esteem when you help them learn to become an achiever, not when you tickle their ears with empty platitudes. Teach them how to use self discipline and watch their self-esteem and motivation soar.

It would appear to me that we’ve raised a generation that has their expectations set way too high. They expect praise at every turn, a happy meal when things go poorly, and to be told they’re winners when they really came in dead last because that’s how they were treated their entire lives by their helicopter parents.  I know one human resources professional that actually had a mommy come to her 28 year old son’s interview to “help him with the questions.” She was dumbfounded when she wasn’t allowed to participate in the interview (I was surprised they went ahead with the it!).

In today’s economy, someone has to re-set expectation levels to something much more realistic. That someone has to be the people in positions of leadership at all levels. That’s why I’m glad the College of Engineering is willing to treat kids differently than perhaps parents have treated them. It’s refreshing.

What’s your take? Should everyone get a trophy?

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USA Today featured a story in the Money section entitled “Student loans are crushing new grads.” Cry me a river.

As someone who has been paying on MY student loans since 1989, I’m just totally sorry. You took the money. Now you gotta pay it back. In the immortal words of Gomer Pyle, “surprise, surprise, surprise!”

“I feel like it’s a real shame that people like me are coming out of college, weighed down by all this debt.” — Austin Light, 24

Hey Austin, I “feel” like it’s a real shame that people invested money in your education with your promise that you’d pay it back … and now you don’t want to because it isn’t convenient to you. I “feel” like it’s a real shame that people pour their life’s savings into banks that lent money to students who still haven’t grown up enough to realize that their signature on those papers means they DO have to give the money back.

Apparently there are quite a few people who “feel” that they’re owed everything, free cars, free college, free housing, free medical care. Here’s a news flash:

NOTHING IS “FREE”

Everything is paid for by someone. The problem is all those “someones” have raised a generation that thinks everything is free or should be. Life is like Friends, no one has to work, everyone has plenty of money, life is just one big laugh.

Guess what? It doesn’t work that way. Welcome to the real world. Now get to work.

Oh, and sorry you cant find that $85,000/year job that starts work at 10, ends at 2 with a company paid 2 hour lunch … 4 days a week.

The article states:

Without such an option (you can’t file bankruptcy on student loans), many college grads are saddled with debt and unable to buy a home or obtain other credit. That can leave them in some cases unable to pursue the careers they studied for because they must take low-paying jobs just to keep up.

Holy Cow. Can’t buy a home just out of college??? Can’t work in your preferred field RIGHT out of college??? What’s this world coming to when college graduates can’t graduate on Friday, throw back a few Yeager Bombs on Saturday, sleep it off on Sunday, start their “dream job” on Monday, and buy their McMansion on Tuesday?

Now they want to be able to legally steal all those thousands of dollars by declaring bankruptcy when times get tough? Have we raised a bunch of wimps or a bunch of thieves?

I’ve been in those exact shoes. Try making $13,947 in one year (pre-tax) with a stay at home wife, two children under 14 months of age, with a $440 rent payment (never late), a $140 car payment (never late), and $20,000 in student loan debt (late but never in default). I wasn’t working in my “dream job” either. But it made a man out of me. Hard times will do that if you let them. I had to put my nose to the grindstone and work like a dog to claw my way up out of that pit. No elevator. No ladder. No government bailout. Nothing but sweat and tears in jobs that taught me the value of hard work.

Another group in the story wonders why there were bailouts of banks but not for college student loans. “It’s not fair,” they whine, “The system is against us.” Oh, grow up. Any government bailout is stupid. Why should the taxpayers have another one foisted on us?

Here’s a radical idea:

Pay your bills. You knew what the payback would be when you signed those papers. Now keep your word.

It’s what mature people do.

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As we breathlessly await the next proclamation from our news sources about the dreaded swine flu, I mean H1N1 (wouldn’t want to upset any swine), I got to thinking about all the other dreaded things I’ve survived.

So far I’ve survived

• Bird flu
• The “hole” in the ozone layer
• SARS
• Lead based paint
• George W. Bush
• Bill Clinton
• Heck, I even survived Jimmy Carter, Gerald Ford, Richard Nixon and Lyndon Johnson
• Riding in the back of pickup trucks
• Never having a car seat
• Riding my bicycle with no helmet
• Pesticides
• Riding my bicycle MILES from home, alone, and coming home just as the street lights came on
• Swimming less than one full hour after eating
• The crime “explosion”
• The Alar apple scare
• Second hand smoke
• Campfires
• Spankings from my teacher, the principal, my mother, and my father — all on the same day
• Barbecue
• Toy guns
• “Violent” cartoons like the Road Runner and Tom and Jerry
• Coffee (and caffeine)
• High tension electrical wires
• Breathing gasoline fumes
• BB gun fights
• Dirt bikes – again with no helmet!
• Asbestos roofing shingles
• Saccharin
• Cowboy gun fights
• Dodge ball
• Shooting bottle rockets at each other
• Drinking out of a garden hose
• Four major earthquakes (went to Central America by myself when I was 17)
• Guerillas (the kind with AK-47′s)
• Pneumonia and pleurisy
• Eating food from a street vendor in a rural city in Guatemala (four times! – it was good)
• Climbing 100+ foot cliffs with no safety gear
• Halloween candy
• Flying in small single engine planes
• Flying in large multi engine jets — over the ocean no less!
• Working in the South Town projects
• Herbicides
• Butter
• Hot Dogs
• Sugar
• Medicine bottles without childproof caps
• Falling out of trees
• Teachers who were more worried about me knowing a subject than about my self esteem (oh the agony)
• Sticking a butter knife in an electrical outlet
• “Dirt clod” fights with all the neighborhood kids
• Chasing the city mosquito sprayer truck on my bike (breathing pure DDT)
• Fistfights in 5th grade, 6th grade, 7th grade …
• Breaking a thermometer to play with the mercury
• Walking five blocks to school (yet never got abducted)
• Shooting homemade bows and arrows
• Falling off horses
• Eating fruit without washing it first
• Fungicides
• Having a home with only one bathroom (and five people!)
• Stepping on a rusty nail (ok I DID get a tetanus shot)
• Keeping a baby copperhead in my pocket all day at school in the third grade
• Playing around construction sites, not just home construction sites, but when they built Interstate 65 through my hometown (boulders the size of houses, I’m telling you!)
• Homemade slingshots
• Sleeping outdoors on camp-outs
• Candy cigarettes
• Monkey bars
• Playing a game where we would throw our pocket knives at each other’s feet to see who would be the first to move

Can you believe it? What are the odds I would survive all this? To hear the media, these things should have resulted in my death, or at least damaged my psyche, but the last time I checked, I’m still kicking. I guess I just didn’t let the media’s need for a screaming headline interfere with living my life. Sorry CNN, NBC, ABC, and CBS. Sorry USA Today, Washington Post, and New York Times. I’ve got better things to do than listen to or read about your nail-biting drama about the latest thing to dread.

Life is too short to live in fear.

What have you survived?

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In the new Fox TV show, Lie To Me, Dr. Cal Lightman leads a team of experts assisting federal law enforcement, government agencies and local police with their most difficult cases. These experts on the show study the involuntary movements, facial expressions, and vocal tones of suspects to determine who is lying and why. It’s pretty interesting!

The show claims that in a 10 minute conversation, the average person lies three times. While that may or may not be the case, here are 15 different ways that may indicate someone is being less than honest with you. Realize that any single indicator may not be reliable, so be sure and look for multiple indicators and consider the whole context.

1. Lack of eye contact.
One of the classic signs of deception is little to no direct eye contact. If someone is telling the truth, she’s likely to give you her full attention and look right at you.
2. Too much eye contact.
Sometimes liars are aware that they’re not making enough eye contact, so they compensate by giving you too much eye contact. It kinda feels creepy when this happens. It’s like you can’t get away.
3. Looking up and the right.
Some brain scientists believe that looking up and to the right triggers the part of the brain linked to the imagination. Conversely, when someone looks down and to the left, he’s stimulating the section of the brain associated with memories. That’s HIS left, not yours!
4. Lack of gestures.
The less someone gestures, the more likely it is that he’s keeping a secret or telling a lie.
5. Robotic movements.
Someone who’s truly emphasizing a point will gesture with her arms and hands in a fluid or firm way. Someone who’s withholding the truth may use her arms, but the movements will appear stiff instead of natural.
6. Too much detail.
When someone’s made the decision to lie, they will work out many details of their story. Many times, there will be incredible detail with their story, but if you quiz them, there will always be some discrepancies. Wait a few hours and then ask for some detail again. You may be surprised!
7. Hey! Where are their hands?
Observe whether the person you’re talking to:

• Places his hands on his lap or clenches them
• Covers his mouth when speaking
• Touches or covers his face when listening
• Rubs his eyes
• Scratches on or behind the side of his ear

Any of these could be a signal that you’re being deceived.
8. The one shoulder shrug.
Observe whether the person you’re speaking with raises one shoulder slightly. That could be another indication of deception.
9. Crossed arms and legs.
Folded arms, crossed legs, and limbs kept close to the body indicate a need to protect something … sometimes. I cross my legs all the time and it doesn’t mean anything! It’s just how I sit. In general though, when you’re feeling relaxed and have nothing to conceal, you look relaxed, with your arms and legs in a natural position.
10. Tilting the head away.
Tilting the head away generally indicates discomfort with the situation. On the other hand, tilting the head toward you implies that someone is trying to get closer to the information.
11. Bad posture.
Standing or sitting up straight is an indication of confidence whereas slouching with hands buried deep in the pants pockets suggests insecurity and uncertainty. See, your mom was right, so sit up straight!
12. Inconsistencies when speaking
This is a dead giveaway. Pay attention to conflicting details and contradictions. “I thought you said you were out of town that Friday … ” BINGO!
13. Changes in vocal pitch.
When you’re familiar with someone’s normal speaking voice, you notice when it raises in pitch. This is usually a sign that the person is uncomfortable … or going through puberty.
14. A distinct pause.
When someone is making up a story as they go along, they will have to pause to think about the details. When they have to stray from their rehearsed story, they have to regroup. Pay attention to what’s said after the pause. It might be a lie.
15. A change in the rate of speech.
Again, depending on how well you know the person, you could notice not only a change in their vocal tone but also in how fast or how slowly they begin to speak.

These are just guidelines, none of them are written in stone. Just use them to help you make decisions and never be afraid to start asking questions to determine whether someone is lying or not. There are times you’ll need to push and times you need to let it go. Just make sure you consider the context when someone exhibits one of these actions before immediately assuming they’re lying.

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In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was over themselves … self-discipline with all of them came first. —Harry S. Truman

Myth: Self discipline is something that you either have or don’t have.

Fact: Self discipline is a tool that you use or don’t use.

Self discipline isn’t the result of your genetics. It isn’t something you’re born with or something you have. Self discipline is a tool and you either use it or you don’t.

Self discipline is most visible by its absence.

Think of it this way: self discipline is a skill, like knife skills in the kitchen. Did you ever see one of those TV chefs showing off his knife skills? He would chop an onion razor thin with a knife as sharp as a scalpel without even looking at his hands. Did he always have this skill? No, he simply practiced and developed it. He probably cut himself a few times as he developed his skill with the knife, but the more he used it, the better he became.

Another example: imagine you’re in Italy with your spouse and you want to find your way to the Colosseum. You don’t speak Italian, but you have a tool … an Italian dictionary! Though you sound ridiculous to the cab driver, you’re able to muddle through and communicate your desired destination. As with the knife, the more you use Italian, the better you become at it. The more you use it, the more you can make happen. The same is true for self discipline.

And the more you use it, the easier it will get. Just like with a language or with a knife in the kitchen, it gets easier and easier with repeated usage. The phrases come more naturally and the onions are chopped so thinly! Pretty soon, others think that skill is something you “have,” something innate, something that’s “inside you.” But you’ll know the truth.

If you can understand that self discipline is something you use and not something you have, then you can use it to accomplish almost any goal you set. You can use it whenever you want or leave it whenever you want.

Most people recognize this truth when it comes to learning a language or learning a new skill, but when it comes to self discipline, why do we want to believe it’s beyond our control? Why do we want to blame other people? Why do we want to say, brag even, that we don’t have it? Most people think it’s a simple character trait or a permanent part of their personality, but that’s a profound mistake.

Have you ever heard someone say, “She has such great potential, if only she had self discipline.” The fact is, everyone has access to self discipline, most people just haven’t chosen to use it. Just like everyone has access to an Italian dictionary or to a chef’s knife, everyone has access to use self discipline. We even teach it to dogs!

Instead, most people stress and worry if they “have what it takes,” They wonder if they have “it” in them, as if “it” was put there by experience, wisdom , parents, or genetics. But self discipline is never “put there,” it’s just a tool like an Italian dictionary or a chef’s knife.

You already have what it takes to succeed. Use it!

photo credit: Daadi

[tags]self discipline, discipline, responsibility, integrity, goals, dreams, desires, plans[/tags]

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If you have a child in junior high or high school, you know that preparing them for college applications is at once a thrilling and a frightening proposition. There’s so much anticipation and planning for the future, that’s the thrilling part. But there’s also the worry and concern that you may not have done enough, that’s the frightening part. The importance of timing can be critical in getting into the college or university you want so what steps should you and your child take and when?

Ninth Grade

1. Begin a resume.

• List work, volunteer, and summer experiences.
• Get involved in extracurricular activities (sports, clubs, church, community)
• List and awards or recognitions received.

2. Review all course selections to insure your student is on track to fulfill all the requirements for graduation.
3. If your student is interested in attending a military academy (such as West Point), this process begins in the ninth grade!
4. Read! Read! Read! Ask your English Literature teacher for a list of classics.
5. Work diligently toward getting a 4.0 grade point average.
6. Take practice ACT or SAT exams to experience the testing process.
7. Begin the scholarship research process.

Tenth Grade

1. Review course selections.
2. Update your resume with additional volunteer and work experiences.
3. Begin the college research process.
4. Continue taking ACT and SAT practice exams.
5. Get involved in extracurricular activities, especially any activities or associations that offer scholarships. Colleges like quality time spent in activities rather than quantity.
6. Read, read, and read some more.
7. Take a writing class and practice writing different types of papers.
8. Study very hard and keep that GPA as high as possible.

Eleventh Grade

1. Update that resume.
2. Review course selections.
3. Take the ACT or SAT at least once. The highest score you achieve is the one that counts.
4. Continue your college search and plan several campus visits if possible.
5. Consider taking an ACT or SAT prep class to boost your score.
6. Read, read, read. Ask your English Literature teacher or your school’s guidance counselor for a list of books that should be required reading for college.
7. Get involved in activities that won’t force you to compromise your GPA.
8. Get some work experience or start a small business to make extra money for college. Be sure and put it in a savings account.
9. Do not let your GPA fall!
10. Begin applying to colleges you’ve selected.
11. Make sure your scholarship applications are in on time and be sure to check on these regularly.

Twelfth Grade

1. Finalize your resume.
2. Review your high school transcript to insure everything is correct.
3. Take the ACT or SAT early in the year.
4. Work on application essays.
5. Check with high school teachers and employers who can give you a positive recommendation.
6. Visit colleges.
7. Finalize your potential scholarship or student loan plans.
8. Finish with strong grades. Don’t allow senior-itis to creep up on you.
9. Graduate!

What other items do you think should be added to this list to help a high school student get ready to attend college?

photo credit: cliff1066

[tags]college, university, when to apply, steps to getting ready for college[/tags]

Links to products or services may be affiliate links. See my disclosure policy in the footer of the site or on my About page.