Comments on: Encouraging Friend or Unsolicited Advice-Giving Jerk?

By: Ron

Ron — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 11:33:17 +0000

First, realize that she means well (probably). Next, I’d reassure her that you are well aware of your son’s development and that he is within normal ranges (if he indeed is). If you’re already dealing with any “developmental delays,” tell her that she’s a little late to the party.

In times past, people seemed to keep their mouth shut, but with the Internet, everyone’s an expert after a short Google search.

I have a nephew that didn’t talk AT ALL until he was 26 months old and seemed developmentally challenged, but today he’s preparing for medical school after graduating college ahead of schedule.

By: Anna

Anna — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 03:51:45 +0000

A friend of mine who often keeps my four year old son pulled me aside and asked “Have you ever gotten your son tested for developmental delays? I said no. She goes on that she has observed that he holds a crayon, pencil, scissors a little funny and she can’t ever understand anything he says when he talks. She said “You should try and go ahead and find out about speech therapy now instead of later.. blah.. blah… I just stared at her. I thought seriously? Is she telling me what I need to do? This is ridiculous. I didn’t know what to say w/out being hateful, so I just left. What could I say to shut her up nicely?

By: Who Is The Fool In Your Life | The Wisdom Journal

Who Is The Fool In Your Life | The Wisdom Journal — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 11:31:19 +0000

[...] has a story of a time they sincerely wish they had spoken up. I’m not talking about giving unsolicited advice like a jerk, I’m talking about speaking the truth with sincerity, in a loving way to a friend who [...]

By: I’ve Been Interviewed At IncomeDiary.com | Wizpress.com

I’ve Been Interviewed At IncomeDiary.com | Wizpress.com — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 12:23:55 +0000

[...] Encouraging Friend or Unsolicited Advice Giving Jerk? – This article from Ron at The Wisdom Journal reminds us that we need to be encouraging to those in need. This especially applies to entrepreneurship [...]

By: I’ve Been Interviewed At IncomeDiary.com | MyWifeQuitHerJob.com

I’ve Been Interviewed At IncomeDiary.com | MyWifeQuitHerJob.com — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 14:26:27 +0000

By: UPrinting

UPrinting — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 22:46:33 +0000

I can totally relate to what you’re saying, because I do this all the time (especially with the first situation). Unless a friend asks me for advice, I prefer keeping my mouth shut and just listen to what they want to say….
and I also find people who give unsolicited advices annoying.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 03:39:00 +0000

Unsolicited advice – welcome to the world of a pregnant woman! Even strangers have advice for you.

By: Admin

Admin — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 19:37:08 +0000

If he “asked” you to swim across the lake, I wouldn’t call that unsolicited! When someone is gasping for air, I think we can assume they’re asking for help and advice.

And encouragement doesn’t have to be a cheesy load of bologna, it can be instructive, just like you pointed out.

By: Peter Piper

Peter Piper — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 18:56:06 +0000

There are only two ways that you learn: one when you are knocked down and have to pick yourself up again, the other when a mentor stands besides you and urges you over the bump. Now we can all be solipsists and live in a bruised world of toothless ‘hard knocks’, or we can honestly say to someone, hey, stupid, don’t just sit there waiting for something to happen!

I was swimming the other day in the local lake and a kid swam away from the roped off area and asked if I would swim across the lake with him. At first I just swam slowly so he could keep up, but after awhile I started giving him advice on calming down, breathing normally and smooth strokes, and on the way back, began coaching him on how to be a distance swimmer.

Now I could have just left it at encouragement, those soapy ‘Mommie says you’re doing so well!’ blandishments that make kids cringe when they find out from their friends the truth later, or drown swimming alone. Instead I chose the unsolicited advice path, and he is all the better swimmer for it!

By: Srinivas Rao

Srinivas Rao — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 18:41:06 +0000

I definitely can sense the fine line between the two. I notice that toxic friends who you have to eventually ditch are the ones who tend to be the advice giving jerks. The encouraging ones are the ones you want to keep in your life.