A famous show business personality was once asked to comment on the effect of continually focusing on past resentments and negatives. “My wife and I,” he said, “were offended by something another couple had done. We held a grudge against them for 16 years. Then we found out that, while we were busy holding the grudge, they were out dancing.”
That story was told by a motivational speaker I heard a few years back. He told that story and a few others to make the point that when we fill our minds with past negatives of any sort, we continue to make ourselves victims of the original event.
In the example of the show business personality, no one else is being hurt. The other couple either wasn’t aware of, or didn’t care about, their grudge. Their resentment might even have been well justified at the time. But who benefits when we continue to hold the resentment in our minds day after day, week after week, month after month, or longer? No one.
Who is hurt? We are. How? By choosing to focus on a negative, we fill our minds with that negative. It permeates our spirit. It leaves less room, or in extreme cases, no room at all, for focusing on bright, positive possibilities. The negative doesn’t have to be a grudge. It can be a failure, a fear, or a negative perception about the way the world works and the chances we have for getting the things we want.
If you’re looking for a job and you’ve failed in the past, or if people haven’t treated you properly, or if you resent certain people or certain companies for what they’ve done or how they’ve done it, you will open up more opportunities for yourself if you forget about them, let go, and move on with your life. You don’t have to cozy up with these people or companies, just don’t let the past negative dominate your mind.
Simply by releasing them and the whole circumstance from your conscious focus, with an almost magical ease, you effortlessly open up more room in your mind and imagination for positive future events.
Wouldn’t YOU really rather be out dancing?