I’ve long been a proponent of using budgeted vacation money to buy experiences over using it to buy things. Things break. Things have to be maintained. Things get stolen, they wear out, they go out of style, and they get thrown into a corner of your attic and forgotten. Not so with experiences. Experiences create memories and memories are long treasured after things have worn out. Memories are passed down to subsequent generations of family and friends.
I believe it was the late Senator Paul Tsongas who said:
No one on his deathbed ever said, I wish I had spent more time at the office.
The question is: where do you think people on their deathbed wish they had spent more of their time? My theory is that they wish they had spent more time with family and friends, more time experiencing great places and events, more time teaching children and grandchildren … and learning from them. More time experiencing life and all its richness, less time buying things that won’t last. I recently lost a family friend who suddenly died of heart failure. This guy was a blast to be around. He lifted spirits everywhere he went and he always had a smile or a gut-busting laugh about something. His personality was infectious and his specialty was encouragement. Before he died, he confessed something that stunned me. He confessed his regrets – his regrets about what he did for a living, what he didn’t do that he wished he had, the girl he didn’t marry (he remained single for 65+ years), the children he didn’t have, the life he didn’t live. I was amazed that someone so positive and uplifting to others was down in the doldrums himself. His unexpected death shocked me and my family. More shocking were his confessions. I don’t want to live like that. I don’t want the office to suck so much life from me that I don’t live at home because of the stress I bring home. I don’t want business and the thrill of competition in the marketplace to mold me into someone my children love, but don’t want to be around. Someone they are satisfied to see just once or twice per year because I’m an ogre to be around unless it’s Thanksgiving or Christmas. Someone who dies with the respect of my family, but who has regrets a-plenty. 
That’s one reason why I take my wife and children on vacations and trips but we don’t have an enormous home theater entertainment system. We go to interesting places in the USA, but I don’t own a boat, or a four-wheeler, or a Harley Davidson, or an iPad, or a sports car, or a McMansion, or a host of other toys that will wear out. I’d much rather take my family on a trip to Seattle (using CityPASS of course), or take my wife hang-gliding over Lookout Mountain outside of Chattanooga, or take a hot air balloon ride (still on the bucket list), or experience Yellowstone National Park. Those experiences have created memories that will last a lifetime. We still laugh about our experiences and recount to each other and to friends the great times we had as a family. You don’t have to go on trips to New York or Los Angeles to create memories though. You can create memories just by making a new recipe, or camping in the backyard, or taking a walk through the woods near a park, or going to the county fair with the kids. Great memories from your experiences are waiting on you. All you have to do is make them, and then recount them to others to make them outlast anything you can buy at the mall. So leave your office cell phone at the office and experience life with the ones you love. You won’t regret it. Photo credits:
- Hang gliding photo by audreyjm529
- City of Seattle by yours truly – from atop the Space Needle
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Awesome post Ron! Sorry to hear about your friend.
Just one comment on the boat bashing! I want to buy one in the next couple years, and I can’t begin to tell you the memories I had going on a buddy’s boat for the past 15 years…but to each their own.
No boat bashing here — it just isn’t something I can justify or use at this point in MY life. Boats can be great vehicles for memories. Enjoy your boat and create some memories with your friends. (I was mostly referring to the huge boat that stays in the driveway to annoy the neighbors and make them jealous)
On the occasion of my son’s wedding last week, several of my family members and I flew to Buffalo NY. After the wedding, we stayed an extra day for the purpose of seeing Niagra Falls. I try to attach as many experiences to our activities as I can, because I believe as you do – experiences together beat “things” hands down. We decided to go on the Maid of the Mist tour, to really experience the falls up close. I was astounded when one of our party, a middle aged uncle of sorts, refused to go on the Maid of the Mist, because he was afraid he would mess up his hair! That is one of the saddest things I’ve ever heard. I almost wished he had been saving for some “thing”.
That comment has made me laugh all day! Thanks for sharing!!
I went to Niagara on a business trip … in February. NOT recommended. That was a feeling of cold I have never experienced before and never hope to experience again.
In my mind life is a collection of experiences, definitely not a collection of things. Therefore, I have spent more money on experiences than on things in my life – not considering my house, but I also love the experience of living in my house. My experiences are like education in one important sense: nobody can ever take them from me.