The Feeler vs. Doer Distinction

StargazingMost people don’t conduct their day rationally, instead they go about their day based on feelings. They live from feeling to feeling, like stepping on stones while trying to cross a river. The only question is, “Which stone is the closest to me now?” The end result is that they never really cross the stream, but they made a lot of effort! Doesn’t effort count for anything?

Though some people may disagree with me, the only thing that counts is producing desired results.

“People can be divided into two classes: those who go ahead and do something, and those people who sit still and inquire , why wasn’t it done the other way?” –Oliver Wendell Holmes

Doers, on the other hand, do whatever needs to be done to reach a goal that they themselves have set. They focus with a laser like intensity on what they wish to achieve, map out a plan to get there, then continuously take the next step in their plan. They develop a budget and live within it. When they ask for a raise, they have a game plan for the YES and the NO.

Feelers, are constantly taking their own temperature. “Do I feel like making that phone call?” “Do I feel like writing that report?” “Do I feel like answering that email?” “Do I feel like studying for that certification exam?” “How will it feel if the boss says no when I ask about a raise?” Feelers are drifting in a mysterious sea of circumstances and problems, never quite sure why they never get anything done, yet are always so tired. Comfortable? Yes. Satisfied? No.

A Doer makes his or her life purposely uncomfortable by intentionally doing those things that advance him or her toward their goals. Doers are comfortable being uncomfortable. A Doer knows the deep satisfaction reserved for achievers and since he or she actually accomplishes something, has a high self esteem.

“No one can make me feel bad without my permission.” –Eleanor Roosevelt

Feelers suffer from low self esteem but tend to blame it on other people. “She ‘made’ me so mad!” “He really upset me.” “No wonder I have low self esteem. Look at what I hear from my boss every day!” Here’s a hint: the phrase “self esteem” has a little clue about who’s in charge of it … it’s the first word of the phrase.

Doers experience more and more power and self control as the years tick by, but Feelers feel that their lives are slowly spiraling out of control. Doers know what each day holds for them but Feelers let the day’s circumstances tell them what to do. Doers experience joy all throughout the day but Feelers think every day is a hassle. Doers listen to others while Feelers wonder what someone else can do for them.

So which one are you?

It’s a difficult question to ask because there are times that we act both ways. The key is to learn to recognize your Feeler attitude and take steps to correct it. See? You’re changing already!

What things can you begin doing today, right now even, that will advance you toward you goals?

photo credit: warrenski